On not being the right man for the job...

I am grumpy today. I'm reacting to a situation that feels very gender-based to me, but part of me wonders if my recent uptick in feminist blog-following has made me more sensitive to existing disparity or if I'm becoming a hammer that sees every problem as a nail. I lean more towards the former, but wanted to be honest about how hard it is not to internalize all the feminist-backlash information that's out there.

So, without further ado, here's the situation that has me all annoyed and dispirited.

One of my best friends is an artist. His drawing skills are amazing and when he's in a groove, he's so prolific that drawings ooze out of him, seemingly whether he's consciously focused on it or not. As a fellow artist, and one who loses nothing by openly admiring others, I sometimes collaborate with him on projects, or on exercises that we do just to stay sharp and creative. I discuss my work with him and am genuinely interested in his constructive criticism.

That said, he has a tendency to be artistically condescending. He's a classic man-splainer, about everything from art to how to drive off-road. And while he DOES have a well-developed style and many fine skills, he works mainly in a single medium--pen and paper. He seems to take my openness to learn from him as tacit acceptance that he is the teacher and I the student, though I work in multiple media and have a style and skill set arguably deeper and broader than his own. Normally, I laugh about it, take it in my stride, and love him regardless.

The other day, however, I ran hard up against a wall with him and I think it's inextricable from our dynamic as a woman and a man. While we were hanging out he got a text from a friend at work inviting him to collaborate on a huge piece of public art. Throughout the evening more texts and calls flooded in, filling out some of the details of the project. Overhearing the exchanges, and then listening to my friend enthuse about the great new opportunity, I felt wistful that I wouldn't be involved in such a cool thing. Until we went into another room and my friend began to explain the project to his roommate, Josh--and asked him right away if he would be interested in joining. Right in front of me! Wtf?

I was dumbfounded. But I spoke up right away, "What am I, chopped liver?!" Both men looked at me sort of awkwardly, and my friend said, "But Josh...he has experience doing street art." To which I replied, "Yeah, but it's a mural, right? And you don't know whether or not it's guerilla art or if it'll all be above-board in broad daylight?" I have massive mural experience, incidentally, and am not averse to a little artistic subversion in the form of public-art bombs. Aside from that, the only way a person ever gains experience doing something is by...doing it. And wouldn't you think that as a friend and fellow artist he'd jump at the chance to help me grow? But as he became more defensive about his choice to exclude me RIGHT TO MY FACE, and Josh refused to look me in the eyes, I suddenly got this prickly feeling that this wasn't about my skill set or abilities as an artist. This project, a mural based on a classic video game, wasn't FOR ME. It was a boy thing. Of course. *facepalm*

What little I know of street art and graffiti reveals that same lack of representation of women as so many other areas of the public sphere. I'm certainly no expert on guerilla art culture--but I wonder, is this disparity because women have nothing to say or that this particular medium doesn't appeal to them as a way to say it? Or, as I seem to have encountered, is there an element of the classic old boys' network, where men support and include and share knowledge with each other without considering the female artists they know? At first it felt like just a case of them having man-blinders on, and I was sure once they thought about it they'd say, "Duh! Of course you should be in on this--you have tons to contribute!" Their actual reaction crossed the line into the feeling that they actively believe that women have no place in subversive, public, or REAL art. And that hurt a lot.

A sympathetic female friend suggested that perhaps he thought he was protecting me from potential legal repercussions. But again, this happened when the best available information suggested a publicly sanctioned project and BESIDES I'm a grown-ass woman who can look out for myself. And what a convenient argument that has always been for keeping women out of the public sphere: "Aw, honey, it's DANGEROUS. You could get hurt, or in trouble! Better leave it to us tough, rebellious men-folk." It seems like THIS is where the women are in street art--subjects to be gazed upon, with men speaking on their behalf (this was the first Google entry for "women in street art"):

http://unurth.com/289249/JR-Women-Are-Heroes-Video

Just to keep this from being all anger, no action, here are some neat links about women in street art. This first one confirms my suspicions about the boys' club:

http://www.at149st.com/women.html

And now that I've seen this, I know what I want for my birthday:

http://www.creativecloseup.com/graffiti-women-street-art-from-five-continents